FACELIFTS

This is Russell Salter with a personal message to the loyal readers out there. The Lander Farce will be back on the beat starting sometime in September. Michael Going is still on board, by the way and I'm pretty sure he is ripping my grammar apart as you read this. Hopefully the Lander Farce will start a student organization for Mass Communication majors. One addition we hope to have within the coming months is video posts. The video posts may not come as regularly as the normal posts, but I'm sure they will be a welcomed addition to the Farce.

I've been swamped with a plethora of projects, you can check them out on the sister blogs section. The Lander Cinema Club is a new student organization in the works, if you are interested in serious cinema you should definitely check out the blog.

If you can't tell I've done some face-lifting around the site. I hope everyone likes it and I hope everyone had an awesome summer.

Best Regards,
Russell Salter

LANDER SYNCRONIZED FOUNTAIN SWIMMERS LOOK FORWARD TO NEW FOUNTAINS

On March 19, 2009, one of the two new fountains located near the Lander University entrance was activated. While some students still believe the addition of the fountains is a major misuse of the funds available to Lander, others cannot wait to see that both fountains are operational. Early in the morning, the Lander Synchronized Fountain Swimmers gathered around the fountain to observe what is to be their new training facility. “One of the fountains will be used as a practice area; the other will be strictly used in performances and competitions,” said team coach Jason Banks. “We are really excited and would like to thank the Lander administrators who have made this all possible.” The Lander Synchronized Fountain Swimmers have not had an official facility in almost two decades. “After the fountain we originally used was destroyed, the team practices were held on the roof of the Jackson Library after rainstorm, but due several leaks, we were forced to disband.” Practice dates have yet to be scheduled, and there are several open positions left in the team’s lineup. Tryouts for these positions will be held sometime next month after both fountains are fully operational. Sign-up sheets can be found on the Jackson Library bulletin board at the beginning of next week.

LANDER GOES PANTLESS

On Friday March 27, 2009, Lander University students will be participating in a county wide celebration of Greenwood’s vast history in the manufacturing of textiles. The Greenwood Textile Appreciation Festival began in 1999 after the idea came to creator Douglas L. Menard in a dream. The Opening ceremony will be held at 8 a.m. in the downtown district near the fountain. There will be food, live musical performances, and many arts and crafts tables to show off the local talents. At 2 p.m., for all who wish to participate, there will be the annual mile race which is traditionally performed pantless. This has been a staple in previous textile celebrations, allowing the Greenwood community the opportunity to publicly display their favorite cotton underwear garments. At 5p.m., there will be a closing ceremony at which time awards will be given in the categories of food and art, and the winner of the pantless race will receive the coveted Golden Undies. These events are open to adults and children of all ages, so bring the kids.

BAMBI VISITS LANDER

On Sunday March 15, 2009, a deer ran through the front entrance of the Jackson Library at Lander University. Several students were outside when they saw the deer quickly approaching them. Startled, the students ran back into the library, but the deer was persistent and crashed through a window gaining entrance into the library. However, after breaking through the thick glass, the deer was too stunned to continue and quietly left. The deer was unavailable for questioning.

Veronica Fuller, a student worker at the Jackson Library and senior class(wo)man, frantically called the Lander University Police Department (LUPD). The officer arrived on the scene promptly, and though the officer was unavailable for an interview, he did confirm that deer hair and blood was found. Although the deer’s motives are unclear, the Lander Farce will continue investigations of the account until the deer itself is properly handled and served at breakfast as sausage and/or country fried steak.